Forgiveness

I find it funny how a night of sharing testimonies can begin a process of change within me. Let me explain.
A friend of mine was about to share his testimony with the group from Fellowship House. But before he began he stated, "I hesitate to share this, because you know my parents." and then proceded to tell a tale of physical/verbal abuse. At the end of his time of sharing he reiterated his original statement and followed up with, "I've forgiven my parents. So, there is no reason that you should be upset with them for what they have done. If I could forgive them, so can you."
This statement has been sitting heavy on my heart since he mentioned it two weeks ago. I can't seem to shake it from my mind. Last nite I sat down and talked with this individual about what forgiveness looked like in his life and what it involved for him personally.
The biggest thing he stressed is that forgiveness is a process. There are times when the memories creep back in and he needs to forgive his parents once again. There are still things that he is holding on to. He says its a journey from, "I SHOULD forgive to I CAN forgive to I HAVE forgiven." I think i'm definitely in moving from the SHOULD stage to the CAN stage. I'm really praying about what it is that i need to do to forgive my father for the things that he has done to me.
The second thing that my friend stressed is that forgiveness is counter-cultural (even within the church). There is a sense of loneliness and isolation when you are forgiving someone of a grievance. In our society, we beleive that we have the right to hold on to the ills that we have suffered under the hands of another person. But my friend says there is such a freedom in forgivness. Although the road to forgiveness is in essense a trip to hell and back, the freedom from releasing bitterness and anger is amazing.
I think i'm ready to go on a journey. I'm packing my bags and my tools for survival. But i truely think that this is where God is calling me to go-a little place call forgiveness.